It’s like the books DON’T want me to read them…

It’s a typically rainy evening here in London, which makes me want to grab a blanket, cuddle up, and be thankful that I’m not outdoors.  However, it’s also the beginning of “Reading Week”…AKA-the guilt trip into doing homework.  It’s as if my professors could see my Internet browsing history, realized I watched the original Star Wars Trilogy in one sitting, and wanted to remind me I was behind in my studies.  Oh…they’re good.  But what they don’t know is that my books have been plotting against me:


Now, if the distributor went to the trouble to print the labels in ALL CAPS and on bright orange stickers, I have to do what they say.  And when the printers lay something over the top of the paper that makes the key words in a sentence disappear, that’s when I know I should stop avoiding the signs.  They don’t want to be read, and I should respect that.  Right?

I also have been spending more time than necessary eavesdropping in the cafeteria in another effort at procrastination. Take, for instance, the conversation I overhead tonight between three teenage boys:

Boy 1: “Ok, say you’re dating this girl, right? And she’s hot, but not super hot. And then say that this girl gets a boob job…her hotness ratio would, of course,  increase. Now say that this same girl lost ten pounds. She would get even hotter.

Boy 2: “Yeah, that’s true. But I think if we’re discussing the ratio, we have to consider the perspective weight gain.”

Boy 1: “Well, we have to take all factors into consideration. I’m just talking about how her hotness could increase exponentially if she got a boob job and lost ten pounds.”

Boy 3: “…”

Alright, do I have to explain to these nerds: a) how to actually talk about girls?  b) if chick gets a boob job, she’s automatically going to gain ten pounds. It’s not like they’re stuffin’ those puppies with air… c) “perspective” isn’t used correctly, Sparky…I think the word you’re looking for is “inevitable”, and d) hahahaha!  Unfortunately I couldn’t stop the silent shaking giggles and was starting to get some strange looks, so I had to get outta dodge before I could find out if they were talking about a Barbie or an actual girl.  I hope for their sake it was an actual girl, because man do they need to get a social life…

Ok kids, I’m going to go crack open my third box of microwave popcorn for the week, grab the troublesome textbook, and pray that motivation finds me before I drizzle extra butter on my favorite microwavable snack.  Happy Sunday, all!


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