Jennicisms

I realize I’m 18 years late with this, but I have just now discovered the world of blogging.  Not only just the concept of writing one, but reading random strangers’ as well.  I know, I know…it’s like I’m stuck in 1995 (were blogs even around then?  When exactly was the Internet invented?  Did blogs immediately follow this innovative invention?  Have I lost sight of my point?  Yes?  I digress…).  My favorite lately (introduced to me by one of my favorite people), thebloggess.com, randomly posts the most hilarious conversations between herself and her husband.  And, as most of you know, I never plan on getting married so I panicked that I’d never be able to have posts like this.  Until I started paying attention to the things that came flying out of Jenn’s and my mouths one day.  Don’t worry, I’m no longer worried that I will be deprived of hilarious and thought-provoking conversations that come out of left field; I call them “Jennicisms” (not to be mistaken with the first book of the Bible).  As neither of us has a very long attention span, I have a short collection of snippets instead of  long, witty conversations.

(while walking past Big Ben) “Wouldn’t it be cool to say that we got to watch Parliament get robbed?  Or see people having sex up against the window??” Jenn
“Yeah, and then we get questioned and deported back to the U.S.!” Me
“You can’t get arrested just for watching.” Jenn

“I took a shower sitting down today.  It’s a lot better than standing up; it’s kind of like being in rain!” Jenn
“You…sit, in the rain often??” Me

“Look!  I drew Voldemort!!” Me
“You drew a penis.  What does that say about you that you drew a penis, and what does it say about me that that’s automatically what I saw?” Jenn
“It says that we were destined to be friends.” Me

“I don’t know why, I just think socks are sexy.  I like socks on people.  Or in the package.  I just like them all.” Jenn

“I’m so awesome I glitter.” Jenn
“So, basically you’re like the female Edward Cullen?” Me
“When I shit, it glows.” Jenn
“Umm…you realize I’m writing this down, right??” Me
“My gems should be shared with the world…I’m a freebird.” Jenn

(while walking along the South Bank of the Thames) “What’s that castle thing??” Jenn
“Dude, are you serious right now??  That ‘castle thing’ is the Tower of London.” Me
“How am I supposed to know that??  My brain is only so big…” Jenn

Now, don’t get me wrong-most of the conversations I have with most of my friends are blog-worthy and hilarious.  It’s just the fact that Jenn is so sincerely serious when she spews these gems out that makes them so amazing.  And so, as the little glittering vampire requested, I give to you her Jennicisms.  I hope you find them half as entertaining as I do, because then you are still laughing so hard that you have mascara running down your face.  Unless you’re a boy…then I really hope you’re not wearing mascara (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but that you’re laughing just as hard.

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4 thoughts on “Jennicisms

  1. Dude, we’re funny. Especially in quotations. Also, I don’t know which nickname I like better now — glittering vampire or foxy conquistador? (I have to admit that I totally just had to look up how to spell that).

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